Let’s talk about positive intent. We’ve all heard about the notion. It’s ultimately a nicely self-serving concept about making two basic assumptions: 1) that the people you interact with, primarily in your professional and personal relationships, are going to do the right thing and 2) having the realization that other people have a lot going on in their lives and probably aren’t thinking about you, or how to ‘get’ you. It really does make for a more balanced and harmonious life at work and home.
Recently, I had an experience that made me take a serious look at positive intent.
I live in Austin, TX. If you are not familiar with Austin, it is considered the live music capitol of the world, is growing at an astonishing rate (I’ve heard around 100 people move here a day), traffic is terrible and most telling, the unofficial city catch phrase is ‘Keep Austin Weird’.
There is no lack of weirdness. There is the naked biker, at least that’s what I call him. He appears to be in his sixties and I see him quite often riding his bicycle in nothing but a blue bike helmet and yellow speedos. Oddly, I’ve never notice what type of shoes he wears, everything else is seared into my mind. I can never figure out where he’s coming from or going to. He just turns up in random places in north Austin along busy highways. Then there’s the biker who rides on the roadways in a recumbent bike that is entirely enclosed in bright yellow fiberglass. It looks for all the world like a gigantic banana flashing down the highway. The statue of Willy Nelson downtown is a good place to people watch. In a radio interview, Willy was asked what he thought about the statue. His reply: “It’s cool man. A hundred years from now people will be saying, ‘Yep, look at Willie. He’s still stoned.”
I did mention the traffic is bad, right? The CA Technologies office is along the Capitol of Texas highway in the beautiful Texas hills. If you’ve ever visited the CA office in Austin, the highway leading there is carved through the limestone and there are sections of the highway that are bounded on both sides by sheer cliffs. I was driving near the office in the stop and go traffic that congests the highway during rush hours and at other random times, like when the naked biker is out and about. On this particular day, traffic was at a stand-still, my vehicle was in park, as were the cars around me. That’s when it happened, and I was frightened.
A BMW two cars ahead of me pulled out of line and onto the shoulder of the road. The driver side door opened and a man emerged. I was about to witness road rage. He was in a nice suit and he proceeded to take his jacket off. He leaned back into his car, presumably to toss the jacket into the passenger seat, and it appeared he was fussing around in the console. I had an immediate rush of adrenaline, the typical fight or flight response. I was certain he was going to come back up out of his car with a baseball bat or something even worse. Heart pounding, I thought, where can I go to flee this situation? I was stopped in bumper to bumper traffic that was sandwiched between two limestone cliffs. There was nowhere to go.
Then it happened: he started dancing. Seriously busting some moves.
Now, I’m certain this middle aged man in a BMW wearing a tailored suit is skilled at many things in his life. Dancing is not one of them. And it was beautiful. He was fist punching the air, back arched, kicking and spinning. At one point he even leveraged himself off the hood of his car so his jump had some height. There he was, spinning around his car in the dirt on the side of the road. People started honking and there were even yells of encouragement from other stranded drivers.
I wondered what he was so happy about; a recent success, good news from family? What inspired him to pull out of traffic, get out of his car, and start to dance? I like to think it was simply joy at being alive
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Fear is not a good emotion, and the rush of fear I had followed so immediately by witnessing joy left me a bit shaken. It also left me with several thoughts. Unfortunately we live in a world where one cannot always assume the positive intent of the strangers around us. We all know that. Vigilance and situational awareness are necessities.
What we can and must do, however, is live a more fulfilled and productive life by assuming the positive intent of our colleagues, clients and loved ones. The other ingredient to mix into positive intent is to cultivate a joy for life, and sometimes, just take the time to dance. Seriously; bust some moves my friend.